imsoshive:

me: what’s for dinner?

her: *spreads her legs*

me: 

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so, did you not cook or ….. cause popeyes closes at 10 and i need to leave now if i’m gon make it. 

(via pastelkanye)

Anonymous asked:

you look fucking stupid in a dress, DUDE

I go to seek a great perhaps. Answer:

dajo42:

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come closer one second

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little closer

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okay close enough

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i have a simple question: which of us is wearing a crown?

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that would be me.

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do you know what this crown means?

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it means i look fucking cute

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and you’re the human embodiment of a sore butt

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now as your fucking queen, i royally declare

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that i am beautiful and you are a listerine enema